hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
