So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
