why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My vagina is very pro this idea
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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