i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
