Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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