So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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