How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
