Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
