no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I can text with my tongue
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
