I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
