which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
