well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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