My room smells like vodka and shame
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
