what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
