Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
