apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
