People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
