Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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