Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Sober January is a disaster.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
