I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
