you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The Olympian is in my bed
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
