I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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