i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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