He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
