shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
