Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
