I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
420 ftw
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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