Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
