The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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