break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
