Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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