Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
