Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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