also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
