You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
