I bet he comes in French.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
