i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
