on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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