I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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