did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize