girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
is that a dick in a sweater?
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