is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
