Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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