I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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