u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
