I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
