Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
