He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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