she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize