Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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