No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
