On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
