ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
