there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
