You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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