It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm at about main and main street
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
