I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
it was like eating out sand paper
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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