It's Friday. Sex?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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