New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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