First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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