so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
