i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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