There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
